It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now…
One more week ladies and gents, and I will be 21 years old 
I’m getting excited about it now; there’s was a brief period of time not too long ago where I started to not really care about it at all, even though I had juuust sent out a party invite :/ lol But I’m over it haha I’m ready to get my drink on at my own house with all of my wonderful friends and family
Thursday night I’m going to dinner with my family to the Cheesecake Factory (yum!) We’re going there instead of Ray’s Place for the night w/others since I need to be able to go to my Sociology review session the next day (I have a test Monday :/ bleh) I’ll be studying all night Friday (and Sunday…ughh) then Saturday night there is going to be a (hopefully) massive party/bonfire at my house 
I can’t wait for RENT to be over. It’s not that I don’t like the experience, I just don’t have anything to do 3/4 of the performance and honestly, I’m tired of listening to everyone’s vocal imperfections through the monitor backstage. It’s mostly because everyone is or has been sick. I feel like it could be so. much. better. It wasn’t even that great during tech week. I think opening night (and tonight…kind of) was the only solid performance where everyone was on the A-Game and kept up with the music and was on key the entire night. Now all I can do is grimace at the horrible notes being hit by the leads. Ugh. Only two more days…
If you wondering if I want you to, I want you to so make a move…
Well Jack and I are good now for the most part. We talked this afternoon and we’re gonna keep talking/getting to know each other after all without the romance (or at least “we’re” gonna try). I’m glad I took the high road on this one. I could’ve been a total bitch to him this afternoon but instead I told him:
‘It’s a shame nothing became of us but I just wanted to let you know I’m cool with it and I’d actually like to continue getting to know you that way you’ll know where to find me when I’m 36 
(inside joke)’
he said ‘you’re a good gal I’m just figuring out what to do with myself these days’ (figures I’d get that speech :/ )
Then I said ‘I get it and it’s totally fine. It was just bad timing that’s all sooo I say we continue to get to know each other w/out the um ‘benefits’ aspect :p I can behave myself when I need to lol‘
From then on it was just idle chatter. Turns out he was a werewolf for halloween!! DAMNIT! haha I told him he ‘would’ve been the perfect accessory to my Selene costume; btw it would’ve made you lose your mind :p skin tight vinyl ‘ he def. liked that idea haha
::sigh:: Oh well. In the mean time I guess I’m even free-er to see whomever I want more than before
Now if only there was someone for me to see…
On a bed of sweet surrender where we can work it all out, so come a little closer baby…
Things with Jack are over. They ended just as quickly as they started. It sucks but that’s alright I guess. He became a little too “busy” over the last week or so. He must not have liked me as much as I thought since I didn’t do anything to make him act that way. I kept the texting to a minimum and only did it every few days and only called him once or twice over the last few weeks; I was ridiculously cool about whatever was going on between us. I did get pissed at him the week before because he was kinda jerking me around when it came to trying to get together. We finally did see each other after a week (we hadnt had an actually conversation since then either) but a half hour before we actually got back to his place he tells me he’s playing poker with his roommates. I haven’t seen him since then but I AM going over there today. It’s only to get back my X-Men cartoon dvds that we never watched lol I’m rather annoyed with him yet again because last night I asked him if I could stop by and get it around 4 he said sure and then this morning he sent me a text saying he ‘won’t be around at 4 but it’s on his porch’. I texted him back saying ‘I figured you might do that…’ Apparently he has class until 4:45 :/ He couldn’t have told me that last night instead of making me think ‘wow he really doesn’t want to see me anymore?’ Ahhh! Fucking…boys!!! GRR!
I tried to hang out with him last Monday and Tuesday before I went to RENT rehearsal but had no luck either day. Last Thursday after asking him if I was ever going to get him all to myself again some night he said ‘I don’t know I’m moving around’…
I still don’t know wtf he meant by that. That night I asked our friend Matt if I was wasting my time trying to be anything with Jack and he said yes. At first I was pissed, then disappointed that I have yet another failed romance under my belt :/ The thing that sucks is that I’m still somehow the tiniest bit attracted to him; I would have loved to continue to get to know him but now I don’t (completely) care either way. If we still talk great, if not then it was fun while it lasted. I mean I didn’t exactly see myself marrying him; I didn’t get that aroused, full body tingle whenever he would kiss me either, even though I still liked when he would do it :p haha
What can I say, I love to be kissed by attractive boys More importantly I love being kissed by boys I’m actually attracted to and even more than that…I love feeling wanted…
Speaking of, at Mikey’s Saturday some guy dressed as Kelso from That 70’s Show kissed me while I was trying to go to sleep at 4:30/5:00 And before that some other guy asked me if I would marry him haha
Halloween was definitely better than last year but I only took two fucking pictures (I’m not in either of them lol) and I was barely downtown :/ If it had been warmer out I wouldn’t have minded walking around longer but I was bloody freezing even in my sexxxy vinyl suit :/ I had a really good time at Mikey’s though! I loved hanging out with all of my boyfriendssss (one of them a bit more than others haha) and Lauren + Reba
I drank the last 1/4 of my sangria from a few weeks ago; I was feeling extremely good + wasted I stayed over at Mikey’s and had to walk back at 10:30 AM to my car…which was parked at MSC lol
Last weekend at Kamila’s was alright; I’m glad I got to see her and hang out + dress up in my awesome Underworld costume I looked (and felt) so hotttt, if I do say so myself. I heard it plenty the last two weekends as well I wish Jack (and Mingles) had seen me Saturday night :-* haha In Columbus I got hit on mostly by creepy dudes, one was kinda cute but I wasn’t interested; I had Jack on my mind the whole night :/Michael was there too; Kamila was a little annoyed with him because I guess when she told him I would be there he was all excited and then he showed up w/ some other chick w/ some familiar looking monstrous dark purple hickeys on her neck :p At first I kinda cared but then I figured if anything it helped me behave myself since I was still a little unclear of my relationship status when I went down there lol
One guy at the party w/ a huge disgusting boil on the side of his forehead who didn’t even know Kamila or Mars (he came with a friend i guess) would not go the fuck away; when i went outside for some air he followed me which was really fucking annoying since I was mostly trying to get the hell away from him. Then he tried taking my gun out of the holster (I made it out of a sock :p) and i almost turned around and punched him to get him the fuck away from me. UGH! He’s still giving me the creeps just talking about it right now, ick!!!
Okay I think that’s enough for now…
Do you just light up at the mention of my name?…
So you’re all going to think I’m insane but I’m seeing someone else now. I met him about two weeks ago at a frat party I went to w/ Leah and some other girls. He was “dragged there” by our friends Matt and Pat; he doesn’t usually like going to frat houses since he doesn’t drink often or hang out with/talk to the frat guys or anyone else there, just like yours truly :p We sat out on the deck in the cold and talked the entire night (til 2:30), he asked for my number/to go out sometime, texted me that night while I was on my way home and asked if I wanted to go out the next night, which we did
He picked me up and met my mom (my dad was at Stow’s homecoming game when he showed up) then we went to see Zombieland at Kent (really funny ), dropped his car off at his place, met his roommates, walked downtown to the Firefly and ran into all of my boy friendsss (Chris Parker, Chris Slekovitch, Jim, Mikey, Cody, MB, Dan, John — seriously, all of them lol) when we walked past the Zephyr. After that we continued on towards the hookah bar where one of his roommates works. There was a line + no one there taking names (i don’t think); I walked in like a badASS who owned the place (he’d never been there before) and went straight back to the kitchen to help him find his roommate. We were seated in the back where the employees usually hang out, got a free blueberry pancake hookah and talked for an hour or so. We walked down towards the river and sat by/under the bridge and talked/cuddled/kissed until 2 It was perfect. If the lights on the bridge hadn’t been on it would’ve made our attempt at star-gazing better lol
So yeah, his name is Jack, I like him A LOT and I’m certain he’s feeling the same way. I’ve seen him almost every day since our date, even if it’s only for a few minutes around campus He’s 20 (birthday is May 10th), he’s from Pittsburgh, lives w/ 7 other guys in Kent, watches sports, used to play baseball, History major (used to be Art Ed), Romanian/Irish/small % Native American and…part Czech!! He even knows/has had some of the food!!!! It’s a rare occasion for me to find ANYONE who is even the slightest bit Czechoslovakian I LOVE IT! haha
He’s tall (I want to say 6′1″ but who knows lol everyone is freaking taller than me; he could be 5′9″ for Christ’s sake and I wouldn’t be able to tell since he towers over me haha), green eyes, athletic build, broad shoulders, thick reddish brown hair, cute smile
I know i just said this but seriously…i reeeeally like him I have a feeling he’s about the same. He plays it a little too cool sometimes, but then he’ll say something that just makes me think ‘aww you really do like me’ haha :p
Ah i have to study; ill finish this later since i have many more interesting tid bits of news to share!
Watch the sunrise, say your goodbye’s, off we go…
So this may come as a slight shock to you all but I think I’m in love.
Obviously not real love since I barely know this guy but ::sigh:: I can’t get him out of my head and seriously, I haven’t been this excited about someone that i just met in ages :p
Okay so maybe it’s lust; idk who cares lol
I met him at Kamila’s in Columbus this past weekend; his name is Michael McFerron, 21. He’s a little different than my usual choices — when I met him he had a goth-look going on — black clothes (Hot Topic-esque) w/ a little makeup too — but it was so. hot.
HE’S hot haha He was such a sweetheart and a really good kisser He gave me a very long lap dance and then proceeded to make out with me and give me three very large, deep purple hickeys on the left side of my neck. He gave me another one when we went outside for some air lol So needless to say my neck is sore and very discolored. It looks like one of my wound makeup techniques :p
I was so fucking wasted at that party haha I was once again drinking tequila and orange juice then did shots of straight tequila then when my personal bottle of it ran out I switched to vodka lol I started drinking at 9 and was passed out by 12:30 haha! Kamila wasn’t far behind :p
Michael came in to check on me once and it was so cute; he kept trying to talk to me but Kori, and Deidre threw him out of the room (but not before he kissed me a few more times ;D ) and we lecturing him in the hallway about letting me sleep and something about making those marks on my neck :/ lol Apparently he wouldn’t stop talking about me the rest of the night I really wanted him to cuddle w/ me for a bit but the next thing I know, everyone is gone, Kori + Mars are saying bye to D and Ashley and I’m being moved to the futon in the living room lol
Sorry to cut off in the middle of my awesome story but I need to go to sleep soooo…
To be continued…
You got me beggin’ you for mercy…
So…Brian Putka IM’ed me out of nowhere on FB and a few minutes into our conversation he said: sorry but I really wanted to talk to you months ago but I get really nervous around you so I really wanted to apologize.
I had no clue what to say to that so I just asked him why I make him nervous, and he said, ‘i don’t know, I’m really not a smooth person. you just make me nervous, haha, it isn’t a bad thing though so don’t take it the wrong way’
And then proceeded to ask me out on another date, which will be taking place sometime next week. I hadn’t thought about him in quite some time and honestly, I don’t have much of an interest in him anymore, especially after the last time I saw him. My mom was sitting in the room when I was talking to him and she was like ‘Ohh that’s so cute If he asks you out you better say yes’ haha So basically I’m going on a date (mostly) to please my mother. You know, the woman who asked me a few days ago if I was a sex addict lol…
But I digress…
Friday night I’m going out w/ Kyle Pugh to see Jennifer’s Body. At first we were going to watch Sweeney Todd at his house but since I only met him once the thought of hanging out with him alone there made me a little uneasy. He called me earlier tonight. It was weird. I didn’t have a whole lot to say to him and I think he said he was high. Not a fan of talking to people on the phone who are stoned.
Saturday night I’m having a mini-bonfire and so far Danny and Lana are the only ones coming for sure lol practically EVERYONE has said ‘maybe’…Oh well lol We had a good time the other night We watched Dogma and Shaun of the Dead, made some popcorn, and ate cupcakes :p Who knows, we might end up having another movie night if we get tired of sitting around the fire.
Tomorrow afternoon Lana and I are going back to Empire to get our fortunes read with tarot cards and palmistry…I’m really excited. Hopefully they’ll tell me something about what to do about all these boys haha
Just one kiss could stop this spinning…
Turns out I’m going to be working on RENT both Kent Halloween AND actual Halloween weekends. I’m really glad Kent’s lasts all night. Leah and I decided to be Pin-up girls instead of flowers lol It’s cheaper, easier, and hotter; even though flowers would’ve been super cute and original :p If I had more $$ to do it then I wouldn’t have given up on the idea so quickly. Either that or I would still be going as a peacock :p I think I’m gonna strive to do that one next year haha But for this year I’m thinking of getting some kind of costume from Halloween USA over at chapel hill and turn it into a pin-up look.
i reeeeally wanna buy this one…
http://www.loverslane.com/images/catalog/large/8408H.jpg
If it wasn’t so expensive I totally would. The vinyl waist cincher and gloves are the best parts lol maybe i could just find the cincher and wear it with whatever i find I wish the real, whale-bone corsets (like Dita von Teese wears that make your waist only a few inches wide lol) weren’t $400+ because they’re gorgeous and make you super curvy in all the right ways
I also like this one. It’s perfect for the pin up look…
http://www.loverslane.com/Sea+Side+Pin+Up/cid=508/page_no=2/edp_no=24968/shop.axd/ProductDetails
This was the first costume I wanted to get (MB was completely behind this one haha) If I like it enough + have the $$ to spend on it I’ll def. consider it. I can still do 1940s hair + makeup
http://www.loverslane.com/images/catalog/large/5931H.jpg
That’s not the only thing I’ll be considering…
I’m contemplating telling that one guy I said I was leaning towards that I’m into him as more than a friend. I have no idea how I’m going to clue him in on that without being all ‘hey i like you and want to be more than friends; I hope you feel the same way’ I kind of DO want to just say it that way and get it out there but I don’t know. I don’t want to scare him off or anything, ya know?
Any suggestions?
I wanna do real bad things with you…
My mother just asked me if I was a sex-addict bc of some of the things posted on my facebook. Seriously?! No mom, I’m not a fucking sex-addict. She’s said ‘do you want people to think you are? are those the kinds of boys you want around you’ and blah blah blah. SO goddamn annoying. If I wouldn’t get an earful, I’d just delete and block her from my friends. Jesus fucking Christ. One of the things on Fb was just some stupid quiz called ‘how sexual is your zodiac sign’ lol
I’m a Scorpio. I can’t help the fact that I’m an incredibly sexual being (seriously). It’s not like I’m constantly on the hunt for someone to ravish me haha Please, I have more self-respect than that.
Blah…oh well.
So yay for tonight As I said in my last post, Lana, Danny, Kelly, and quite possibly MB are coming over to watch some movies and have some cupcakes + popcorn (gotta have some crunchy, buttery, salty goodness w/ those rich, chocolaty cupcakes!!)
I realized today that I might be missing the next JFK show on account of tech week for RENT. Dammit…Maybe…Actually, now I’m not sure I mean I’m pretty sure it’s that week but looking at the JFK event on FB it says the show doesn’t start until 10 and goes until 1. Hmmm perhaps I could just go there afterward… I don’t wanna miss out on them 
If anything I’ll get there halfway through their set :-/
Okay byeeee for now
My royal garden needs a hired man…
First two weeks of classes have gone very well so far Last week I managed to drain my bank account for a short period of time on supplies for my wig + makeup class. It’s been momentarily replenished (my last paycheck from the Financial Aid office ) but it’s slowly and most definitely dwindling already…
My first day of class I met a few new people, including a cute guy that I purposefully sat next to in Sociology Turns out he is unavailable oh well. I had the delightful pleasure of meeting three more gorgeous boys a few days later. One is in my College Writing II class and another one turned out to be in my Sociology class. I was sitting out back of Verder w/ Leah and they showed up. Figures that all the hot boys decide to move in the year I live at home lol There was another guy that we met the same afternoon that I hung out with between classes the other day.They’re all younger. The one in my soc. class is a freshman but if he’s into me i will completely overlook it and break my ‘no dating younger guys’ rule. hehe The guy in my writing class is a sophomore and the other one I hung out with is a freshman but he took a year off.
The funny thing is, despite all the new guys I’ve met, I find myself leaning towards someone I’m already good friends with. Dating a friend is a dangerous situation for me to get back into, I know. Seriously, if being with/without Allen taught me anything it’s to refrain from being romantically involved with people you’ve been close friends with. Most of the time you turn out exactly how Allen and I did. I don’t want to lose another amazing person in my life, like I completely lost him. Ahh I don’t know, I guess with Allen it was different somehow. Hmm. I would love to try it, as long as they feel the same way because I really like them a lot. I mean, I don’t know if they’ve ever thought about it or even have an interest in me like that lol (I hope they do//have) I guess we’ll see what happens.
Nothing too exciting has happened with any of my classes except my wig + makeup course. I brought home the 5 wigs I’m gonna be using and brushed them out which took fucking forever on account of all the left-over hairspray in them. I have to wash them tonight and probably tomorrow when I get home. Woohoo.
Friday night I went to JB’s to see July For Kings I’d never seen them live before and they were fucking amazing, as expected!!!! I looooove Joe Hedges So. hot. and a voice that makes me melt haha I can’t wait to go see them again October 23rd It was nice to hang out with my girls Kelly and Lauren at the same time once again lol And as always, I love seeing my boyfriendssss MB, Mikey, and various others :p I got to meet Joe which was wonderful lol I bought two shirts from him but before that he had to root through the entire box to find two smalls haha
Tomorrow night Danny, Lana, Kelly, and maybe a few others are coming over for a movie night/Lana’s post-bday celebration I’m making two different kinds of cupcakes :p Lana has to work until 11 but D and Kelly are coming over at 9.
Yesterday was Allen’s birthday and apparently he went to the hookah bar with his dorm buddies…?! w.t.f. That’s the only thing we ever really got into arguments about when we were together because he didn’t like that I was smoking and wouldn’t go with me just to hang out because he was ‘allergic to the smoke’ (he’s actually gotten sick from it before, when he tagged along w/Chris and Ryan while they went in a few months ago). When Kelly told me she was going there for his bday last night i was extremely annoyed, 1) he’s invaded one of my ‘happy-places’ that I knew he would have never gone to and 2) as previously stated he would get mad at me for going there. Fuck.
Blahhh oh well. I can continue to /be cordial and then ignore him if I run into him there. I haven’t seen him at all on campus yet so that’s been really nice. Out of sight and (mostly) out of mind. Finally!!! haha
Alright I have nothing else to tell you atm.
My jungle looove, oh-wee-oh-wee-oh…
Columbus was a lot of fun Wednesday I went to Easton w/ my mom, Jillian and Genna from 12:30 until 5:00. We went to The Cheesecake Factory for lunch as soon as we got there and it was sooooo fucking good. I had stuffed mushrooms and this buffalo chicken dip (shredded chicken, mozzarella cheese, hot sauce, + sour cream) inside a breaded/seasoned/fried wanton and served with a really good peppercorn ranch dressing. Mmmm For dessert I had the Chocolate Tuxedo Mousse cheesecake (chocolate mousse, white chocolate marscapone filling, a layer of chocolate cake on the bottom, and chocolate ganache on top w/ 2 ginormous mounds of whipped cream) . It was just alright. I should’ve gotten the Vanilla Bean. It’s uber delicious. I really wish they’d had the Strawberry Chocolate cheesecake :p
Anyways, I got some cute tops at Forever 21 + Aeropostale I of course wanted to buy everything I saw since I was/am broke. After the shopping marathon they dropped me off at Kamila’s. We sat outside and had some Red Stripe and a cigarette or two then started drinking tequila mixed w/ a little orange juice and Sweet & Lime. Fantastic lol I had 4 of those throughout the night plus 4 shots of the same thing (with more tequila than anything else) and a strawberry acai Smirnoff.
I met Kamila’s soon to be ex-roommate Adam; he was kinda cute. We hit it off lolzzz I got to hang out with Mars which was nice considering I’d only met her once before and very briefly.
So the next day I slept until 1:30 while the ladies went to their various classes and later around 5 we walked to High Street and went to a hookah bar there after doing some window shopping. At 11 we went out to Wallstreet, which is a gay club and it just so happened to be hip hop niiiight hahaha I felt SO out of place there 1) I am not a lesbian and 2) I’m one of the whitest girls you’ll ever meet lolz We went with their friends Dan (gay) and Michael (straight + married). Dan was cool but Michael kind of creeped me out a little, especially when he was trying to get me to dance with him. If I was attracted to him in anyway I’d have been alright with it but I wasn’t so I tried keeping my distance.
I called Kori at one point and talked to her for a bit. She’s coming home two days before I start classes again but she promised she has already been planning on designating those two days to me and Genna hehe
So anyways we got back from the club around 2:30 and played a few rounds of Apples to Apples and then I went to bed around 4.
In the morning the girls and I ordered pizza from this really good place right around the corner (i forget the name), played Scrabble and watched most of Fight Club My mom, J, and Genna showed up around 2:30 to get me and were home by 5:30/6:00.
Yesterday I slept until 1, as well as today lol I just hung out all day yesterday while my parents went to a cookout. At 11 i went to Kira’s house for her surprise 19th birthday party. It wasn’t too bad; i was a little bored here and there since I wasn’t really drinking and only knew a handful of people there.
Today I spent the afternoon/evening in Youngstown at my cousin Francesca’s birthday party. It was so freaking hot out today…ugh. I feel like I ate my weight in cheesy potatoes haha I could eat those every day for the rest of my life…cheesy potatoes and cupcakes.
Speaking of…I’ve been on a cupcake recipe binge for the last three days. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve added numerous cupcake blogs to my blog roll on here lol I’ve found at least 50+ recipes, cupcakes, cheesecake, you name it. If only I had the money to try a new recipe everyday… :p
Another segue, I’m going back to work tomorrow! lol Right until school starts then I’m jobless and limited cash-wise.
Alright well I think that covers almost everything for the time being. Now I’m off to sleep. But first I’d like to leave you with something to help giggle yourself to sleep:
Jay: [singing] Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, fuck / Mother fuck, mother fuck, / Noise noise noise, / 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, / Noise, noise noise / Smokin’ weed, smokin’ wizz, / Doin’ coke, drinkin’ beers, / Drinkin’ beers, beers, beers, / Rollin’ fattys, smokin’ blunts, / Who smokes the blunts? / We smoke the blunts. / Rollin’ blunts and smokin’…
Teen #2: Uh, let me get a nickel bag.
Jay: [singing] / Fifteen bucks, little man, / Put that shit in my hand, / If that money doesn’t show, / Then you owe me, owe me, owe, / My jungle love, yeah, / Owe-ee, owe-ee, owe, / I think I want to know ya, know ya, / Yeah, what?
lolzzz Goodniiiight
